But my time as Alicia was not simply spent baking scones. I found my behavior turning increasingly destructive, as I turned to alcohol and partying to help me forget about my loneliness.
I dove headlong into the nightlife that London had to offer, the thrill of being Alicia wrapped around me like a warm blanket. Each night was a blur of neon lights, pulsing music, and laughter, where I momentarily forgot about my past as Tim and the weight of my new reality. My phone would buzz with messages from Ethan and new friends I met along the way.
I had been Alicia for nearly two months now. I was going for a walk in the park to cure my latest hangover.
I watched as joggers passed by and families enjoyed picnics on the grass. A couple nearby laughed as they tossed a frisbee back and forth.
I felt so alone. I missed my family.
I leaned against a tree, the rough bark pressing into my back as I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the noise of laughter and chatter that surrounded me. I thought about Tim—his life, his friends, the boy who had a family waiting on the other side of the ocean. The ache in my heart deepened as memories of my little sister flooded back—her sweet laughter, her innocent curiosity. I used to be protective of her, but now it felt like I was living a lie that separated us forever.
I finally broke down and sobbed quietly, the tears spilling down my cheeks as I let the weight of my loneliness crash over me.
I would never have that life again. I would probably never see them again.
I realized I was probably going to be Alicia for the rest of my life. The summer was soon coming to an end, and she was supposed to be heading back to her college town soon.
As I blinked away tears, a curious rustle interrupted my thoughts. I turned to see a small dog approaching, its tail wagging excitedly. It trotted over to me, tail a blur of enthusiasm, sniffing at my legs before looking up with big, trusting eyes.
“Hey there, little buddy,” I murmured, kneeling down to pet the dog.
“Are you lost too?” I whispered, chuckling softly as the dog licked my hand.
In that fleeting moment, I wasn’t alone anymore. I looked around for its owner and spotted a woman jogging toward us.
“Oh! Frank! Come here!” she called out, jogging closer.
“Is this your pup?” I asked as I continued to scratch behind Frank's ears.
“Yes! Thank you for looking after him,” She smiled.
We ended up chatting for a while.
“I come here every morning for a run. Best way to start the day.”
I nodded, “I could use a bit more energy in my life.”
She laughed lightly, and I found myself warmed by her friendliness, “Well, maybe you should join me some time! I usually run at 6 AM.”
“I might just take you up on that,” I replied, my lips curling into a smile.
“By the way, I’m Lucy,” she introduced herself, extending her hand in a friendly gesture.
“Alicia,” I said, shaking her hand firmly.
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